Telling your children about the decision to end your marriage may be one of the more difficult parts of the divorce process. However, it is important to let them know as soon as you are sure, as they should not hear the news from anyone else.
Telling them should not be a spur-of-the-moment conversation. Wait until you can talk uninterrupted and when no one has to be anywhere else.
Prepare what to say
Psychology Today advises that you and your spouse discuss
ahead of time what you will tell your children. This helps keep it from being an emotional moment filled with hurt feelings.
Tell them as a united front
It is best if both of you tell your children at the same time. Although you will no longer be a couple, you need your kids to know that you are both still their parents. You should also tell all your children at once, even if they vary drastically in age. You can have more in-depth conversations with each of them at another time after they have digested the information.
Answer their questions honestly
Healthchildren.org discusses that you should
answer the questions your children ask as well as unspoken ones that relate to necessary changes. You should answer the best you can, although you should not give details about why the divorce is happening or blame the other parent.
As your kids begin to process the news, they will probably have emotions and follow-up questions. Allow your children to feel what they feel, and demonstrate that you love them. Perhaps most importantly, make sure they know the divorce is in no way their fault.